I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
how drunk are you?
Several
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
