youre lurking in front of me
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
