...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
