I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
