you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
