Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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