i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
