what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
