thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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