It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
