having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
