I skipped work to stalk him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize