So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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