Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize