My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
