the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
whose parrot is this?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize