hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
