hotel room ftw
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
me + whiskey = a bad person
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
