sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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