When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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