So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
