I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
