Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
