i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize