Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
