I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize