I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
