Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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