last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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