I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
