my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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