lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize