i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
