I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
