my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize