She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
