Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize