i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
