I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
