Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Let's get the cat blown out
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
