Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
