Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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