i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
