Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
