okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
