im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
