did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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