I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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