Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Found your dick twin last night
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
