Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
