When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I could fuck to npr.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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