got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
