Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
