where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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