Having a random hookup so left but love u
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
