hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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