You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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