Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My pussy is not your playground.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
