with your own penis?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Rumble strips road head = magical
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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