I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
