dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
