when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
