Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
